Dear Sue,
My son is twelve and he really does try when it comes to school. Before every test we sit together, go through the notes, and he seems to know the work. Sometimes he can repeat whole paragraphs back to me the night before. But the next day, when he writes the test, it’s as if he has never seen the material before.
This keeps happening. He’ll put in the time, look like he understands, and then draw a blank when it matters. His teachers think he’s not studying enough, but I know he is. We spend hours together, and he still gets poor marks. He’s starting to believe he’s stupid, and I don’t know what to tell him anymore.
Why does he forget everything so quickly? Could it be laziness or nerves, or is there something deeper going on?
Frustrated and worried,
Clara
Hello Clara
Thank you for writing. Your son’s experience is more common than you think, and it has nothing to do with laziness. When a child studies hard but still “remembers nothing,” it usually indicates how the brain processes and stores information — not a lack of effort.
There are several possible reasons:
1. Weak working memory
Working memory acts like a mental notepad. If it’s weak, a child may remember information for a short moment but lose it before it can be transferred into long-term memory. That’s why he can recite notes the night before but not recall them in the test.
2. Inefficient encoding
For information to stick, it must be connected to meaning. Simply rereading or repeating notes often isn’t enough. Without active strategies — such as summarizing, organizing, or linking new facts to existing knowledge — the brain doesn’t store information effectively.
3. Stress and test anxiety
Even if material has been learned, stress can block retrieval. A child who panics in the exam may experience “blanking out,” which feels like forgetting everything.
4. Lack of automatic recall
If core skills such as sequencing, attention, and processing speed are weak, retrieving information under time pressure becomes difficult, even when it is stored in memory.
The good news is that memory can be strengthened.
- Enhance working memory and sequencing skills through structured cognitive training.
- Teach study strategies such as summarizing, self-quizzing, and creating associations, which promote long-term storage.
- Reduce stress with practice tests in a safe environment, so the exam room doesn’t feel so overwhelming.
- Encourage confidence by pointing out effort and minor improvements, not just grades.
Your son isn’t “stupid” — he’s hitting a memory bottleneck. With the right support, children can improve their memory skills and turn effort into results.
I’d recommend a free consultation so we can assess his memory and develop a plan moving forward.
Warm regards,
Sue
More about Sue
Sue is an educational specialist in learning difficulties with a B.A. Honors in Psychology and a B.D. degree. Early in her career, Sue was instrumental in training over 3,000 teachers and tutors, providing them with the foundational and practical understanding to facilitate cognitive development among children who struggle to read and write. With over 30 years of research to her name, she conceptualized the Edublox teaching and learning methods that have helped thousands of children worldwide. In 2007, she opened the first Edublox reading and learning clinic; today, there are 30 clinics internationally. Sue treasures the “hero” stories of students whose self-esteem soars as their marks improve.
